Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Battle Los Angeles-Review


Boom,Bang,whoosh,kapow!
American VS Alien invasion,Fuck yeah!
Loads of shaky came,sentimental and CGI heavy,Call of duty vs aliens on film,That's what i expected to see from everything i had read about it,so here are my thoughts...............

Well yet another film does the USA army an injustice with all the gung ho'ness we have come to expect,
Not being all political as I'm not but there was so much macho bullshit in this it was laughable!
Starts with a flyover over the devastation and TV reports of meteorite's hitting many cities all over the world,then we hear that New York has been lost and loads more US cities but we must not lose Los Angeles,OK bring it on.
Film skips back 24hrs and we get to see many of the marines that are going to be involved in the fight for the earths survival,These people include a Sergeant just about to retire, a soldier with a pregnant wife, another soldier who just got back from Afghanistan and has shell shock and another who's bro was killed on duty and he's going to win it for him,YAWN!!
So you get the basic every cliche under the sun plot line right?


Well i say basic and that's the films trouble,The marines get sent into LA and have 24 hours to rescue survivors before the air force go in and bomb the hell out of those pesky aliens,I as I'm sure you have have seen this story/scenario now a million and one times and to be honest this offers nothing new whatsoever.
The mainstay of the film is just ground skirmishes with the aliens on the hunt for survivors,they do eventually come across a guy with his Little boy and some others and action scene after action scene later you can still guess whats coming,oh on the subject of the little boy,his dad(spoiler)gets killed by a pesky alien and so he stands there crying and the biiiiiig dimpled chin hero marine says to the young fella "Don't be ashamed to cry,but don't quit,marines never quit!"and he gets the crying boy to repeat it!!!OK sir "marines don't quit"what the fuck????????????
They then in the foray of aliens blowing up basically anything that breaths makes a noise or farts they find an abandoned bus and decide to hot wire it and go for it, a huge big red bus,jeeeeeez!!!!!!
Anyway I'm about done with this review,needless to say that the last 20 minutes or so are just like watching resistance fall of man or call of duty,the director should go write video games instead,
Pants! 4/10
Jonny T.



1 comment:

  1. To be honest I quite liked it... Heard it was terrible so maybe the fact I wasn't expecting much helped. Can't understand why it has been so panned - that's the great thing about movies though, each to their own.

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