Sunday, 22 February 2015

Honeymoon - Reviewed

A recently married young couple decide to do it all themselves and leave for a quiet honeymoon to a remote cabin in the woods where the young lady used to holiday many years ago. All seems fine upon arrival where they get to the cabin and it is planned so that it is a time period where its before the main holiday season so nobody is around.
They decide to take a walk and come upon a local restaurant where a local guy is smashing things up and screams at them that they are closed.He then recognises the newly wed lady from years ago and his tone changes to very pleasant. We then see his wife who is acting sheepish and quite weird.
They decide to head back and settle down for the night.Whilst sleeping a weird light seems to enter the cabin shining on the girl. The next night the husband wakes up to find his wife not in bed.He searches the cabin but she is no where to be seen.He walks through the woods only to find his wife standing naked in silence covered in all kinds of strange marks.....
My thoughts on Honeymoon are basically it was OK for a Sunday afternoon film but nothing that special . The acting and direction are pretty solid and there are some good gross scenes but ultimately it left me feeling a bit flat.One of those films where you're not sure what's happening throughout and when you find out (kind of) it's not that great.You know that annoying feeling where you look at the running time and think "it's going end in a minute" Frustrating feeling.Not bad but not great.
Jonny T.

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Dogwoof presents Manakamana - Reviewed

Now you know when someone says "Ive never seen anything quite like it" well after watching Manakaman that's exactly what I thought.
It tells or rather shows the story of Pilgrims taking a cable car journey to the sacred Hindu temple of Manakamana, I really didn't know what to expect when I stuck it on and the 1st ten minutes is just a shot of an old man and young boy taking the pilgrimage from the view that you are sat opposite them. The old man has a very stern weathered looking old face and the  only reaction you get from the young boy is when the cable car goes over the various pylons shaking the car and terrifying the young boy.
The car then goes into darkness and then our next passengers get on and that is basically it all the way through! The first bit of dialogue comes some 25 minutes in with three old ladies telling each other some funny stories, These passengers as with all we see are oblivious to the fact that you are sat opposite them. We get a 3 young metal heads who also have a kitten and it really is fascinating to watch and something very different. The bonus features on the disc give you more in-depth insight into the pilgrimage and all the facts behind it.
A truly mesmerising watch and if at first you think what is going on please stick with it as it is a really well made documentary that gives you a real good feel factor with the final journey.
Great Stuff.
Jonny T.


Saturday, 7 February 2015


Hey Folks,
Jonny T here with 4 brilliant releases from 88 FILMS. I do have to say that over the last few releases from them they have released some cracking titles and 2015 looks equally as strong if not better! Arrow video are as we all know a great label but it seems that 88 Films are equally as hot at the moment and they ship worldwide! I've stuck all the details below and watch this space for reviews coming very soon,
Jonny T.





Now in our third year, 88 Films is looking towards 2015 with the hopes of bringing our fans yet more in the way of under-looked genre gems, certified masterworks of marginal cinema and an array of slice and dice standouts with our Slasher Classics sub-label. This month, 88 Films drives their proverbial movie machine into top gear with four famous popcorn flicks that we believe few fans of cult craziness will want to avoid!

First up is ESKIMO NELL - one of the most celebrated British sex comedies of the 1970s. Featuring a witty script from MARK OF THE DEVIL’s Michael Armstrong (who also stars) and directed by a young Martin Campbell - years before he helmed the James Bond gems GOLDENEYE and CASINO ROYALE – ESKIMO NELL is a hilarious satire on the low-budget British skin-flick industry of the time. The story focuses on three inexperienced filmmakers (Armstrong, Christopher Timothy and Terence Edmond) who attempt to make a movie version of the notoriously rude poem ‘The Ballad of Eskimo Nell’, with disastrous results. This classic British rib tickler features a cast of famous faces including Roy Kinnear (THE THREE MUSKETEERS), Katy Manning (DOCTOR WHO), Christopher Biggins (THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW), Diane Langton (CARRY ON ENGLAND) and a cameo from the decade’s premiere sex kitten Mary Millington in her d├ębut movie appearance. Digitally re-mastered from the original film elements, and with a host of special features, ESKIMO NELL makes its way onto British BluRay for the very first time.


Available: 16/02/2015, RRP 19.99 Blu-ray, £12.99 DVD

- New HD Transfer from preserved 35mm Film Elements Transferred and restored at Pinewood Studios
- Brand-new audio commentary with Michael Armstrong and historian Simon Sheridan
- Reversible sleeve with alternate poster art - Booklet notes by Simon Sheridan
- WILD LOVERS Bonus short Mary Millington film - Stills Gallery 
- Theatrical trailer
- All Regions

Next up is the continuation of our Slasher Classics line with three timeless terror totems.
Leading the lacerations is one of the most notorious and controversial horror shockers of all time: 1980’s matriarchal masterpiece MOTHER’S DAY. In this frequently censored frightener, we are introduced to three twenty-something women who are about to embark on a camping trip to hell. Our helpless heroines are stalked and snatched by a pair of psychosexual brothers and their insane parent - but oestrogen proves tough to overcome and MOTHER’S DAY ultimately provides us with a chair-gripping, sanguine- stained battle of the sexes. Prepare to be disoriented and disturbed by one of the true greats of eighties independent terror! Considered to be an essential entry in the backwoods-slasher genre, MOTHER’S DAY debuted in 1980 to critical confusion - but gained a fan following that includes such Hollywood heavyweights as Eli Roth (HOSTEL) and Brett Ratner (RUSH HOUR). Indeed, Ratner would eventually produce a lavishly budgeted 2010 remake, starring Rebecca De Mornay, although - as in most cases - it is the original which is most potent and powerful! Thirty-five years after its premiere, MOTHER’S DAY has lost none of its knife-sharp satire and this influential splatter outing remains recommended to the most seasoned of scary movie fans.
Available: 23/02/2015, RRP 19.99 Blu-ray

- Fully Uncut!
- Audio Commentary by Charles Kaufman and Rex Piano
- Charles Kaufman Intro -Rex Piano Intro - Behind the Scenes Super 8 Footage
- Eli Roth on Mother’s Day
- Charles Kaufman and Saw’s Darren Lynn Bousman talk Mother’s Day 
- Theatrical Trailer
- TV Spot
- Graduation Day Trailer 
- 88 Films Trailer Reel
- Booklet by Dr. Calum Waddell featuring a conversation with star Nancy Hendrickson
- All Regions

Also arriving with a bloodstained bang in February is 1987’s SLAUGHTERHOUSE! And if you loved THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE and THE HILLS HAVE EYES then you are sure to pig-out with the sicko-shocks of eighties fright-favourite SLAUGHTERHOUSE. This corpse-ridden classic introduces one of the screen’s most memorable madmen in Buddy a cleaver-wielding backwoods baddie who, along with his father Lester, doesn’t take kindly to trespassers. Buddy was brought up killing and packing meat, but now his rage turns to teens and market-capitalists seeking to buy-out his dad’s property. The end result is a tongue-in-cheek terror totem that returns from the dusty VHS vaults to BluRay in this great new worldwide premiere HD master - scanned from the original negative by director Rick Roessler!
Available: 23/02/2015, RRP 19.99 Blu-ray

- Brand New Director Approved UNCUT HD Transfer
- Rick Roessler Interview
- Audio Commentary by Rick Roessler and executive producer Jerry Encoe
- Jerry Encoe Interview
- Raw On-set Footage
- Buddy Meets the Public Classic Featurette
- Theatrical Trailers
- TV Spots
-  Collector’s Booklet By Dr. Calum Waddell 
- All Regions

Last but certainly not least we come to one of the original UK video nasties: 1981’s DON’T GO IN THE WOODS. This delirious camper-crippling offering doubtlessly attracted the attention of the anti-horror brigade due to its misanthropic madness and non-stop splatter action. A must-see slasher shocker, DON’T GO IN THE WOODS is a Utah-lensed, limb-lopping bout of slice and dice lunacy which also packs in plenty of comedic carnage and a natural park setting that provides a touch of creepy claustrophobia. Once banned but now available in all of its uncut outrageousness, 88 Films is proud to present DON’T GO IN THE WOODS with a new HD transfer overseen and approved by director James Bryan!
Available: 23/02/2015, RRP 19.99 Blu-ray
- Fully Uncut!
- Brand New 2K transfer overseen and approved by director James Bryan
- Audio Commentary by Director James Bryan
- Group Commentary by Deron Miller, Mary Gail Artz and James Bryan
- The Making of Don’t Go in the Woods -Talk Show Appearance -Theatrical Trailer
- Poster & Production Stills Gallery -88 Films Trailer Reel -Reversible Sleeve
- Collector’s Booklet By Dr. Calum Waddell featuring an interview with James Bryan 
- All Regions

Thursday, 5 February 2015

Poltergeist 2015 Trailer - Stick it!

Wow look the trailer for the remake of Poltergeist has arrived and it looks shit, Now be warned I am about to rant.................
Point is that remakes are generally shit

Texas Chainsaw Massacre Remake-SHIT
Friday the 13th Remake - SHIT
Halloween Remake - SHIT
Who can kill a child? remake -SHIT
A Nightmare on Elm Street remake - SHIT
Any Western remake of any Asian films - SHIT
There are as you know a shit ton more that are SHIT,
I'm personally really bored of all this Insidious, Conjuring, Annabelle, Paranormal activity boring no depth or more annoyingly originality bollocks, I know that it's an easy way for massive studio's to make "A quick Buck" and they do indeed make millions from all the obvious leading up jump scares that are so obvious it at least stops the kids looking at their phones for the odd 3 minutes several times during a film to scream out, But honestly as horror fans you must be fucked off with it by now surely?
Thank whichever god you wish to worship for films such as Starry eyes, What we do in the shadows and a good few more that filter through and get the praise they deserve so true fans there is still a light at the tunnel. Horror is not dead!
Now, This trailer I was quite intrigued with what Ghost house  had done with it, Sam Raimi being a massive fan and even paying homage to it at the end of Drag me to hell with the pool/grave skeleton scene,But to me it looks fucking awful, The names have changed but OK I'll take that but the bad CGI and it's basically the same, yes there are going to be a bit of new stuff here and there but it once again appears that i's jump scare after jump scare after jum..............zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I really remember jumping loads of times when i watched the original, Oh hang on no I didn't because I didn't need it!! Anyway I could go on all night but when I see it which you know i'll do as all us horror fans will do because it what we do i'll drop the review,
Here be he trailer, Meh!
Jonny Ranty T.
last bit... the end of the trailer with the girl on the stairs,,, fuck off!!But you can see it in 3D and IMAX oh do go on,spend those extra pennies!

Tuesday, 3 February 2015


Well you know the formula for Asian horror,Run Down old apartment blocks,Sun never shines,Long haired creepy ghost girls and Hopping Vampires yes this has it all,But the hopping vampire is not as in the likes if Mr Vampire this one is a real nasty bastard!
The film opens with a guy looking up at the apartment block and basically saying how did it all get so shitty?We then move on to see a one time big actor moving into a small grotty flat much to the excitement of the caretaker at having a celebrity move in.You can tell straight away that the film star is depressed,We see a flashback that tells you that his wife amd family are dead.Next we cut back to him having covered his whole flat in white sheeting and standing on a coffee table with a noose around his neck having his last cigarette.It appears that at the last minute he has changed his mind but slips and looses his footing thus tightening the noose.This is where you get to see some ultra stylish fillm making with all kinds of visions flash before him as he nears death but luckily for him as that final moment approaches we see a neighbour burst in and cut the rope and sparing his life.

Within his dying visions he sees a sheet rise from the floor and it takes the form of some weird ghost demon whilst all kind of dark mists enter his body from all sides of the room but luckily for him his neighbour known as brother Yau enters the room and cuts him from being fully taken by death.
We next see him sat alone in the apartment blocks little basement  cafe. Brother Yau sees him and cooks up 2 lots if rice and gives him one and walks away.He's not the most sympathetic of people to say the least.Sat there on his own with a beer and rice for nearly an hour, He is approached by a kind old lady who persuades him to eat and tells him her hobby is sowing which spurns him into conversation about some of his old movie costumes  he still has although a little tatty he mentions them and she happily says she'd help him fix them up.She also mentions to him "Have you noticed anything strange about your apartment 2442?"............
The old lady has a husband who goes out to throw away trash and notices and the bottom of the stairs crouched up a small child obviously a ghost,It seems that its not just room 2442 the spirits are confined to it is the whole building.The old man has an unfortunate and very violent so it seems accident and his wife is heart broken.A ritual is performed by another tenant that he must remain in the bathroom in the clothes he is now in and the iron shingle mask he is wearing must not be removed and he shall return,But it doesn't work out as that and hello Hoping Vampire!!

I shall say no more as to spoil it but Rigor Mortis wears its influences firmly on its sleeve and brilliantly it does it as well.It has it's comedic moments but they are few and far between,It is a dark dark movie.The two girl ghosts when the arrive are brilliantly done as is the Vampire. Super slow motion shows off some fantastic cinematography and direction. The only let down for me was that it slowed down a fair bit and the ending if i am perceiveing it correctly was very weak but in saying that it is one of the best asian horrors i have seen in a long long time.
Jonny T

Sunday, 25 January 2015

The Grandmaster - 30th March Home Entertainment Release

Hello Folks,
Jonny T here with some very exciting news that The Grandmaster is finally getting a UK DVD release! I remember reading a year or so back how great it was and have been itching to see it since that time. Directed by Wong Kar Wai who also made 2 of my favourite Asian movies Chunking Express and Saviour of the soul. Starring the brilliant Tony Chiu Wai Leung star of classics Red Cliff 1&2 and Infernal Affairs this looks cracking! Yes OK so it is another telling of the classic IP Man but anyone who has ever seen an IP Man film knows you can't get enough of him so bring on The Grandmaster!
Watch this space for my review coming very soon,
Jonny T.



“You won’t ever see any other kung fu movie quite like it”


“Wong has delivered his best film in a decade”




THE GRANDMASTER, the highly-anticipated film by acclaimed director Wong Kar Wai, will open through Metrodome on 28 November. Six years in the planning and three years in the making, THE GRANDMASTER is an epic action feature inspired by the life and times of the legendary kung fu master, Ip Man. The story spans the tumultuous Republican era that followed the fall of China’s last dynasty, a time of chaos, division and war that was also the golden age of Chinese martial arts.

Nominated for two Academy Awards, for Cinematography and Costume Design, THE GRANDMASTER features virtuoso performances from those at the film’s heart: Wong regular, Tony Leung, Ziyi Zhang (CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON, HOUSE OF FLYING DAGGERS, HERO) and Chang Chen (HAPPY TOGETHER, 2046). It was filmed in a range of stunning locations that include the snow-swept landscapes of north east China and the subtropical south.

With THE GRANDMASTER, Wong Kar Wai has made a kung fu film like no other. Years of research and a virtual battalion of martial arts trainers on set ensured that THE GRANDMASTER portrays both the Chinese martial arts and the world of the martial artists with unprecedented authenticity: the fight scenes were choreographed by Yuen Wo Ping, renowned for his work on films including THE MATRIX, KILL BILL and CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON; and the trio of lead actors completed several years of rigorous and challenging kung fu training for their roles.


Release date 30th March 2015
Certificate TBC & Running time 98 Minutes

Saturday, 24 January 2015


Nami is a young girl who's early life is quite traumatic, She is in frequent trouble at school something her mother and father don't seem to care about and leave it to her sister to deal with, It comes to a head one day when her mother who is more obsessed with the plight of starving foreign children than her home family just up's and leaves,The father who is devastated but obviously not that much then brings home a mistress Akko Chan, who whilst Nami watches just smiles and keeps taking him into a room and needless to say what goes on in there but when he comes out he looks well and truly knackered! All the previous events happen within I would say the 1st ten minutes of the film so it's very quickly paced and reminded me a hell of a lot of the openeing to the Jean Pieere Jeunet classic Amelie both in the way the visuals are set up and the pacing.

The film then jumps to when Nami turns 20, By this time her father has committed suicide and she has inherited a substantial amount from his death.She now also has a new hobby, Watching people through her binoculars but not just anybody she watches people she calls "Solatarians" who she describes as people who have gone mad through loneliness.She explains the 5 different types of Solitarians she follows and mentions on guy called Mr Inexhaustable who's house she finds and creeps through the door only  to be hit by a rancid stench and various adult magazines scattered aboutthe floor, Then she spots Mr Inexhaustable lying face down on the floor, Rather than being shocked by the sight of a corpse she seems more elated, She flips him over and laughs out loud as she looks down and see that the corpse haS an erection, Still laughing she poses for a "Selfie" with stiffer in more ways than one Mr Inexhaustable!
Nami decides to sit and watch another one of her Solatarians, The one people call The Loon of Central Park who happily ballet dances around the park with a plastic bag full of popcorn flinging it through the air for the pigeons, He doesn't bother anybody but one day whilst being watched by Nami a group of teenagers decide to pick on him, at first he is beaten but then gets a pitbull like grip with his teeth on the back of one of the teenagers hands and will NOT let go resulting in a big chunk of flesh being bitten from the bullies hand, He screams and runs off with the group whilst The Loon of Central Park just picks it out of his teeth and carries on with his day, Once again much to the delight of Nami!

Nami bumps into her sister after several years of not seeing her and her sister explains to her how she really does "Like The Ordinary" and from what iv'e said so far you can obviously tell that Nami is the exact opposite of her sister!
All of the above happens within the 1st 40 minutes of the film which brings me again to the pacing of it again, it's constant and never drags at any point, Brilliantly filmed, Doesn't in anyway shy away from the violence. So in summing up I would highly recommend Greatful Dead, Very funny in places but always with extremely dark undertones right until the very last frame, Asian cinema at it's finest.
Jonny T.
Available on DVD and Blu-Ray from Monday January 26th 2014