Sunday, 31 May 2015

THE GALLOWS - First look at FULL TRAILER - In UK Cinemas from JULY 17


Hello Folks,
Jonny T here with the first trailer for The Gallows, Saw a easer trailer for it last week before that pile of shit that was The Poltergeist remake. With all teaser trailers it didn't  really show you much but sure looked creepy! So we now  present you the full trailer, My nephew lewis really wants to see it so whether it be good or bad it looks like I'll be off to the cinema on a Sunday morning again, When I asked him what it was about all he said was " Demons, Oooooo!!" So I'm sold! All details and full trailer below,
Jonny T.

Warner Bros. Pictures UK and New Line Cinema present Blumhouse Productions “THE GALLOWS” - in UK CINEMAS FROM JULY 17 2015.

We are pleased to reveal the first FULL LENGTH TRAILER for THE GALLOWS which arrives in cinemas on July 17, 2015.  From Blumhouse Productions (Insidious, Sinister) this release from Warner Bros. Pictures UK marks a return to the truly terrifying for NEW LINE CINEMA.

THE GALLOWS is written and directed by Travis Cluff and Chris Lofing and also stars Cassidy Gifford, Ryan Shoos, Reese Mishler and Pfeifer Brown.

Originally tipped to be released September 4 2015, THE GALLOWS will now be screening in UK cinemas from JULY 17 2015.

Synopsis: “The Gallows”
Twenty years after an accident caused the death of the lead actor during a high school play, students at the same small town school resurrect the failed stage production in a misguided attempt to honour the anniversary of the tragedy—but ultimately find out that some things are better left alone.


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Monday, 25 May 2015

Poltergeist 2015 - Reviewed X 2!

Another Sunday morning trip to the cinema, This time to see the remake of Poltergeist or as I named it after Poltershite, Me and Gav both share our views below, 1st up is the thoughts of the Big Man......

Okay, so lets be fair any kind of follow up to Poltergeist was going to be a tough act to follow. Although directed by Tobe Hooper, who is a bit of a fair weather film director at the best of times IMO, it was Spielberg pulling most of the strings behind the camera on this 'go to' haunted house classic. Even the sequels paled in comparison to the original so a modern re-make was always going to be terrible right? Well yes, sadly. Even the clever marketing ploy to use the possessed clown toy as a draw in TV spots and posters hints at a film far better than this turned out to be. Nevertheless Jonnys cult films and special guest Blogger Mr Shelton couldn't resist a Sunday morning cozying up on the back row of the cinema. Roll tape...
    I always loved the opening to the original Poltergeist film. The gentle score and family friendly comedic first scenes slowly gave way too something much sinister. At the time you'd be forgiven for thinking that you were watching Spielberg's E.T given that both movies were shot in similar neighbourhoods. This time around that feeling is long gone as the film makers openly use America's debt crisis and unemployment problems as the platform for the Bowen family. Dad Eric (Sam Rockwell) has been out of work for some time after being laid off from his job and is down graded to an impoverished suburb full of foreclosed properties. I couldn't work out if the writers genuinely had a point to make or were just trying to create relatable circumstances for the viewer to identify with. In fairness most of the cast and script do a good job of humanising the characters, particularly the two youngest Dawsons. It slows the pace and to some it might get in the way of some decent scare time but certainly from my point of view I welcomed the good characterisation. The rest of the story plays out quite faithful such as the tv, tree and infamous clown scene but this time around lacks the panache. The '15' rating aside I feel much more could have been achieved particularly with the demonic toys, there simply isn't enough screen time and could have given this remake a much darker tone if used more effectively. Things get progressively worse after the spirits abduct young Maggie and the rest of the family fumble around and don't really take things that serious. Don't get me wrong it's no farce but any respect I had for the characters leading up to the second act was quickly dwindling away by the time the unimpressive CGI kicks in and firmly places Poltergeist 2015 in mediocre remake territory. The arrival of Jared Harris and his cod Irish accent does nothing but add to the misjudged atmosphere. At least he was having a good time... 
    Upon leaving the cinema Jonny and myself compared notes and both wondered why Sam Raimi pulled out of directing. The dark tone of his fairly recent Evil Dead re-hash would have suited Poltergeist better in much the same way that Drag me to hell was a success prior to that, which was also fifteen rated if I'm not mistaken. I can't help but feel that in the right hands Poltergeist would have turned out far more accomplished and i'm somewhat surprised that director Gil Kenan failed too deliver the goods considering his great work on the under appreciated animated 'Monster House' from 2006. The thought of what might have been far outweighs what is on offer which is an overly common sight in horror these days. My best advice is to hang onto those pennies for the upcoming Insidious 3 or the Gallows. If you absolutely have too see Poltergeist at the cinema please DO NOT waste your money on the utterly shit 3D transfer. It's the worst I have seen in ages and its only benefit is the distraction that the blurred mess creates over an already muddled movie...

The kids hand painting made a right mess of dad's new 42" Telly.

Jonny T here with thoughts on the remake of Poltergeist. Now I could Eff and Geoff till the cows come home on this one but I know some people like it so please remember it's only an opinion and my opinion was it was shockingly bad, Not only was it £11 plus £1 for your 3D glasses it was as Gav has mentioned possibly the worse 3D I have ever seen, Blurry, Dark and all round shitty. As for the remake itself that is pretty much the same, Obviously it was never going to be anywhere near as good as the original but as remakes go this is up there with the worse of them. The story plods along quite boring to be honest and an hour and a half near the end started feeling more like being stuck in a triple bill of Hobbit movie and not allowed out. The story is pretty much the same as it would be but with changes such as a Charlie Brooker lookalike dressed as The Exorcist who turns up to clean the house, He is in fact a reality ghost TV show star much to the delight of the older daughter who can't wait to tell her freinds, Hang on a minute? Your little sister has been sucked into a portal to hell and that's your reaction? I kid you not that happens. Now once little chubby faced dark haired squeeky voiced repeats swear words her parents says in a cheeky way girl get sucked into to poltergoose hell that's where the film basically just stops. Sam Rockwell who at one point shits worms out his mouth cries "I Just want my daughter back" But refuses as does the whole family to call the police nobody after that seems bothered in fact they all look as bored as the audience. All in all a terrible remake, Shoddy 3D CGI heavy and all round boring bollocks. If you have booked tickets I would advise getting a refund whilst you can. Best of all have a look on IMDB some people are saying that it's better than the original, But like I say that's just an opinion .Crackheads! 

Friday, 15 May 2015

Housebound gets a UK DVD release date!

Hello Folks,
Jonny T here with great news that HouseBound is set to get a UK DVD release on 20th July! I caught this at last years Nottingham's MAYHEM festival and it was a huge hit, From New Zealand it is horror comedy at it's finest with some great performances and hilarious as well as gross out moments, A definite high recommend from me and watch this space for a full review coming very soon, All details below!
Jonny T.



“Delights in scaring the hell out of you! Bloody brilliant.”


“In terms of pure, unadulterated entertainment, it’s quite possibly the best genre effort of the year.”

IGN – 9/10

“A marvelously entertaining combo of haunted-house thriller, murder mystery and domestic comedy”



Kylie Bucknell is forced to return to the house she grew up in when the court places her on home detention. Her punishment is made worse by the fact she has to live there with her mother Miriam who's convinced that the house is haunted. Kylie dismisses Miriam's superstitions. However, when she too becomes privy to unsettling whispers & strange bumps in the night, she begins to wonder whether she's inherited her overactive imagination, or if the house is in fact possessed by a hostile spirit

Release date 20th July 2015

Certificate TBC & Running time 107 Minutes

DVD RRP / £15.99



Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Human Centipede 3 - Final Sequence trailer

Well bloody Nora the trailer for Human Centipede Final Sequence has hit, Now I have to say that I love the first film, The second one I can take or leave but this looks as bat shit crazy as it gets and you know what? Thank fuck it does! Now for me and many people worldwide I have spoken to have become bored with all the bollocks of the likes of Ouija, Paranormal activity 8 or whatever the fuck number they are on now, Films from a man that made the Tea on the set of Insidious etc..... don't get me wrong it might turn out to be a pile of crap but just the fact that it's going to have it's moments of WTF makes it for me a definite must see and of course the Dr is back! In a different role???? synopsis below, enjoy...............................

  Featuring the leading actors from the first two films, Dieter Laser and Laurence R. Harvey, who will play new characters, along with actors from the first two films: Bill Hutchens (Dr. Sebring in Full Sequence) and Peter Blankenstein (Det. Voller in First Sequenceand Alan in Full), The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) will be released both theatrically and on video on demand on 22 May 

Friday, 1 May 2015

Attack On Titan - New trailer and what we know!

So Attack on Titan movie from what I can tell is nearly upon us or maybe next year depending on what you read where but one thing is for sure it is going to be brilliant, The reason I say that is because I have seen the series and it is great but I thought there were quite a few filler episodes, So from the Manga to the TV series to the movie in it's compressed form so to speak one thing is for sure it will definitely be a  non stop action huge Titan monster stomping mother fucking blast! I will say if you get chance check out the TV show and the comic do so as the are also both brilliant. one thing to finalise, Thank fuck that the Japanese are doing and not Hollywood!!
Jonny T.


A little taster of what Attack On Is all about...

Subaru Car Advert Titan Edition!

RZ-9 - 18th May




Hello Folks,
Jonny T here with news that RZ-9 is set to get a UK DVD release on 18th May, Halo is a hugely popular game and there has been talk on and off if and when it will happen but to be honest I wouldn't worry because you have RZ-9! All release details below,
Jonny T.

When a catastrophic terrorist attack plunges the US into a state of crisis, the government turns on its people.

State-of-the-art drone patrol systems monitor citizens while ‘Erasers’, a band of elite super-soldiers, mercilessly hunt down ‘enemies of the state’. When computer scientist and drone pilot, Patterson Endcott is deemed to be a top level security threat, he is forced to flee his home and find safety beyond the watchful eyes of the drones.

Release date 18th May 2015

Certificate 15 & Running time 90 Minutes

DVD RRP / £12.99