Wednesday, 29 January 2014

How to Use Guys with Secret Tips- Reviewed.

Director: Wonsuk Lee
Writers: Wonsuk Lee, Hye-yeong No
Stars: Jeong-se Oh, Yong-Joon Ahn, Seong-woo Bae

A 'not so attractive girl' is single and loses her chance of promotion at work. Not knowing why, she accidentally buys an old video tape set titled 'How to use Guys with Secret Tips'. May be this video can help her to get through life easier. With doubts and curiosity, she gives it a try. And surprisingly, she gets what she wants at work and the top star LEE falls for her. But can she keep her true love?

“How to use guys with secret tips” is the debut film from Lee Won-Suk and what a début it is! Starring Lee Si-Young as Choi Bo-Na as a second assistant director, A Sad Tomboy type that wears various colourful hoodies always with the hood up and her fringe down and low esteem. The director she works with rose to fame by doing a sanitary towel add and fancies himself as a rock’n’roll style director who constantly plays his acoustic guitar singing sad songs, basically a bit of a nob! One day he calls her into his office and asks her to help with a pitch he has lined up, But tells her she looks like a “Mutt” and to pick him up at 6. This is just a small amount of the daily barrage she is at the receiving end of, she is clumsy and lacks confidence, always wanting to be like the other attractive girls who constantly berate her on her looks.
One day on a shoot at the beach, she once again tries her best to go about her job when the film’s star man turns up, Shades on, hair slicked back, chiselled features, you know the type! He departs in slo-mo style  from his vehicle removing his shades when his assistant who is carry his dog drops it and it then proceeds to take more than a fancy to his right leg if you know what I mean! She laughs, he sees her, gives a dismissive glance then walks away. She then recalls him from 5 years earlier when we have a flashback of him trying to impress her by getting her to listen to a tune whilst he performs a cringe worthy dance, So is this the turning point she has finally found to think that one day she good be as good and as big as him? Is that what she wants?
The filming wraps up and we see her stood in the ocean barefooted staring off into the distance alone. She then awakes on the beach and everyone has gone, left her alone. She wanders back towards the top of the beach where she sees a very brightly illuminated store selling all manner of self-help videos including one strongly recommended by the stall holder, the one he recommends is called “How to use guys with secret tips!” The guy sells her the VHS and gives her a free present of a where’s Waldo? Book! So she takes it home, moans to herself that it has just cost her $500 but proceeds to watch, the guy on the stall is on the video and goes through various hilarious steps of how she needs to do what she does to fit in.
So after watching the video this is the turning point of the film, she turns up for work wearing a skirt and no hoodie much to the shock and surprise of many of her colleagues, We see the guru video guy pop up on occasion and give us little sound bites, most  of them hilarious, will she fit in? Will she get what she finally wants? Well you’ll just have to watch it and I can tell you that you won’t be disappointed.
So as I said it’s the directorial debut of Lee Won-Suk and it’s brilliant. Ultra colourful very much in the style of Amelie’s director the great Jean-Pierre Jeunet, Funny, witty brilliant performances and cinematography also has a great soundtrack, what more could you want! Available now on DVD.

Jonny T.

Saturday, 25 January 2014

The Borderlands - Theatrical and Home Entertainment Release

Hello Folks,
Jonny T here with great news that The Borderlands has a release! It will be in theatre’s on 4th of April and on DVD 7th of April. I was lucky enough to catch this at last year’s MAYHEM horror festival in Nottingham and I can tell you it’s great! A British found footage affair that tells the tale of a Vatican representative sent to investigate the strange going on in a small village church. It’s loaded with scares and twists and all-round extremely creepy! So keep your eyes out for my full review coming very soon,
Jonny T. 


Starring Robin Hill (Down Terrace, Kill List)
Gordon Kennedy, Aidan McArdle, Patrick Godfrey &
Luke Neal
Directed by Elliot Goldner

“A chilling reminder of how good found footage can be.” ****


“Excellent. Very scary. And THE best use of the "found footage" conceit of filming everything”

Don’t believe everything you see! A team of Vatican investigators are sent to the British West Country to look into reports of paranormal activity during a Christening at a newly re-opened remote church. Father Crellick has webcam proof of artefacts moving on the altar and other weird happenings. But two of the three-man team aren't so sure.

Deacon and Father Mark Amidon are experts in the field of faked miracles and play the footage continually looking for wires and trickery. Going back through church records though, the holy place does seem to have a history of strange occurrences, and there is that raspy scratching sound they keep hearing coming from the walls. So they set up cameras in the nave and around the pulpit in the hope of filming and recording something unusual. An elaborate fake, or could this one be the real deal? If they don’t lose their way they may just find out.

Theatrical release date / 4th April 2014
DVD release date / 7th April 2014
Certificate / TBC
Running time / 89 Minutes

Wednesday, 22 January 2014

Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony

"Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony (formerly titled as Brony-Con: The Documentary) is a 2012 documentary film centring on Bronies, the adult fans of the 2010 animated television series, My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. The film, funded through crowd-sourcing via Kickstarter, was originally envisioned to follow voice actor and executive producer John de Lancie to the 2012 Summer Brony-Con in New Jersey. The project raised much more than anticipated, allowing it to grow in scope to bring on Lauren Faust, Friendship Is Magic's original creator, and Tara Strong, a principal voice actress on the show, as executive producers and to include additional convention footage from European conventions."

So,what is a Brony?
“A name typically given to the male viewers/fans (whether they are straight, gay, bisexual, etc..) of the My Little Pony show or franchise. They typically do not give in to the hype that males aren't allowed to enjoy things that may be intended for females.”
So there you have it, That is the definition of what a "Brony" is. And it's all covered in the rather bizarre documentary Bronies: The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony. 
Now from the outside you think that surely grown men not only liking my little pony is odd but dressing up as them and meeting at conventions even weirder? That's the view I get from peoples reactions and yes it is very odd but the documentary explores many different sides and aspects as well as some very interesting characters in the Brony-verse.
It opens up with a talking heads style, five or so people telling the reasons behind the love of all things My Little Pony. As it goes along we see the creator of the cartoon show which all the pony love seems to be based around and the saying they have much in the Star Trek "Live Long and Prosper" Saying but theirs is "Friendship is Magic!" Which is just one of the many many quotes that the Bronies use from the show.
Now the documentary mainly focuses on 3 Bronies, 1 young chap lives in a very small town in backwoods America with the population of around 250, He drives an old Mercedes Benz that is adorned with My little pony stickers, he tells a scary tale of how one night he was filling up with gas and was approached by some of the locals who proceeded to smash all his windows and even point a rifle at him accusing him as they say of "Catching the Gay"Small minded to say the very least! We next up see a high school kid who tries all he can to persuade his mum and dad to take him to Pony-con, His dad won't have any of it and even refuses to watch any of the show with him. Next up we have a teenage guy from the UK who was diagnosed with as-burgess syndrome. He feels lost and unable to mix with people until he discovers the Brony-verse and finds out that there will be a convention taking place in Manchester England.

So from that brief description it seems that these young fellows just want to belong and be accepted without prejudice.We follow them along there journeys and I have to say that they do achieve their goals of meeting up with others and in the end and having a great great time. Now maybe because this is a fairly unknown fan-boy geek type of affair that at the moment it is very much frowned upon, When the convention happens in the USA there is well over 1000 people there including members of the military. It is put across in the documentary in a coming out kind of way, very odd but very good to see nice people enjoying themselves and not hurting anyone. Now myself as many us are, Classed in the "Horror Community" which itself has been open to all kinds of hate, not only from people that call us weirdo's but also from the press, Video Nasties sicko smut pedallers etc.......
In summing up it is a must watch documentary, I certainly can relate to them on a certain level but on another level it is a little odd! But hey, who am I to judge. The video below shows who the call the most manliest Brony. He is a guy in the USA who a lot of the young kids look up to as a mentor, Tells them just enjoy life and haters gotta hate, yeee haa!!
Jonny T.

Tuesday, 21 January 2014

Kung Fury - Trailer and all round lunacy!

Hello Folks,
Well i have seen the trailer for Kung Fury knocking about for a while now but until this morning not had chance to watch it, But this morning I did and it's off it's tits! It appears it was a kickstarter campaign funded movie with a goal of $200,000 dollars but is now currently on $565,685 with over 16000 people pledging the money. Similar from the looks of it in tone to movies such as Iron Sky, Bitch Slap and Manborg. It tells the tale of a cop from the future sent back in time to battle Hitler who apparently is the meanest bad ass Kung Fu villain of them all! But things appear to go wrong and he ends up in Viking times, well one thing you definitely can say is that it's original! So keep your eye on it, i most certainly will be.Just have a look at the trailer, that's all i can say!
Jonny T.


Monday, 20 January 2014

Big Bad Wolves - 28th April Home Entertainment Release


“This is the best film of the year”


“Fiendishly intricate…a terrifically ominous score… and great performances all round”*****

EMPIRE / 5 Stars

“A beautifully crafted morally ambiguous fairy tale for the modern age” ****

MOVIESCOPE / 4 Stars  


 “Masterful Hitchcockian twists” ****


“Brutally simple and brilliantly told” ****

TOTAL FILM / 4 Stars

“Brilliant…a true masterpiece”

A film by Aharon Keshales and Navot Papushado (RABIES)

A series of brutal murders puts the lives of three men on a collision course: The father of the latest victim now out for revenge, a vigilante police detective operating outside the boundaries of law, and the main suspect in the killings - a religious studies teacher arrested and released due to a police blunder.

As the tension mounts and the victim maintains his innocence, the lines between justice and vengeance, innocence and guilt, become increasingly frayed. Just how far should you go before you accept a truth? And what does it cost you to find out?

Release date 28th April 2014
Certificate TBC & Running time 110 Minutes

Thursday, 16 January 2014

We are what we are (2010) - Reviewed.

So it’s been out a few years now and I brought it on DVD well over a year ago, You know how it is, you buy a DVD or 5 then the one you really want to see goes on first the other 4 or so sit on your shelf, you buy some more, watch one of those and so is the life of a film collector! But what made me remember We are what we are is I saw a review the other day of the remake, yes the remake already, I swear they get quicker at remaking films these days, Anyway, I dug it out my collection, stuck it on and thought to myself after I had watched it “why the hell did I leave it sooo long!” Here’s my review……

The film opens with an old guy in a seemingly trance like state wondering along the street , He approaches a window of a shop and starts pointing at the scantily clad mannequins in the window and pressing his finger on the window appearing as he wants to touch them. The shop keeper duly moves him on. He wonders zombie like some more and starts to cough up blood, collapses to his knees spitting out more blood the keels over and dies. We get a great shot from above of him lying dead whilst paramedics quickly come along and carry him off followed by some cleaners mopping up the blood quickly and shoppers carrying on as if nothing has happened.
We see next to young brothers setting up a stall in a local market on which they are selling watches and offering repairs. A customer approaches and asks them where his watch is as it’s been nearly three weeks and his father still has his watch. One of the brothers takes exception to his attitude and sets upon the man giving him a beating. It appears he has a very violent temperament. The lady who runs the market finds out about this and bans them from the market. They take all their wares home and duly tell mother who flips out. It’s clear from the home and life style that they are borderline poverty stricken. Then enters their young sister in distraught and in tears and proceeds to break the news that their father has died, It turns out that he was the man we saw at the start of the movie.

So responsibility now falls on the oldest of the boys to take charge of the family and their lifestyle and he must carry on with what they call “The Ritual” It turns out that The Ritual basically involves them going out and kidnapping someone to take home and cannibalise! The two young boys set out to get a victim and they chose a group of young children playing under a bridge, this attempt fails miserably and they return home empty handed. Much to the annoyance of their totally psychopathic mother.  They try again, this time targeting the local red light district, the grab a prostitute beat her and stuff her in the boot. When they get home they tie her to a table at which point the mother comes down the stairs and sees who they have picked up and once again goes nuts. The reason she flips this time is that it turns out that her husband used to spend all his spare time with hookers and she hates them big time, she then does no less than smashes her head in with a long stick, then she gets the boys and her to drive back to the red light district and leave the body in open view of all the other hookers and screams “if you ever come near any of my family again this is what will happen to you.”

So, the oldest who it has to be said is the weakest out of the family tries is best but fails miserably at  being the head of the family, the hunt is on for a victim for The Ritual…..
It has been compared in feel to the original Let the right one in and I can see why. As I was watching it I had exactly the same feeling. The place where they live is run down, grim and no hope is anywhere. The police get on the case as well as two quite funny bumbling detectives; it does have all be it bizarre a sense of underlying humour. The 1st half hour is a slow burn and character building but when it gets going it really gets going. The performances are top notch and I must say I was extremely surprised to see that it was only a 15 certificate in the UK. I can’t comment on the remake as I have yet to see it but needless to say this version is solid and a very high recommend.
Jonny T.  

Wednesday, 15 January 2014

Here Comes the Devil - Reviewed

"A couple's preteen son and daughter inexplicably reappear after being lost overnight on a desolate, cave-riddled mountainside. Becoming withdrawn and beginning to exhibit strange behavior, their parents quickly assume something sinister happened to them while missing and alone. But after hearing an ominous local legend, the concerned mother and father begin to realize that their children may have fallen prey to something inhuman - and that this dark, unstoppable evil has now returned home with them."
Initial release: December 13, 2013 (USA)
Director: Adrián García Bogliano
Running time: 97 minutes
Screenplay: Adrián García Bogliano
Music composed by: Julio Pillado
Cast: Laura Caro, Francisco Barreiro, Giancarlo Ruiz.

Here Comes the Devil got a hell of a lot of hype before its release and it appears since its release as many horror movies it’s not quite lived up to peoples expectations, but I for one enjoyed it, or I think I did?
The film opens with two young ladies having a bit of sexy time and when they are through one of them lays there ridden with guilt when there is a knock on the door. “Don’t let anyone know I'm here!” says one of the ladies to which the other reassures her that she wouldn't and proceeds to leave the bedroom and venture downstairs to see who is at the door. A few moments pass by and the other lady here’s some banging and screaming noises so goes to see what the hell is happening only to be confronted by the scene of her lover being severely beaten, With one fell swoop her attacker takes off several of her lovers fingers with a machete. She grabs the nearest heavy object she can find and smashes him on the head with it and he runs away bleeding profusely.
The attacker flees the scene running up high into the hills where he duly strips naked and claws at the ground whilst screaming in pain and starts what appears to be a small earthquake. And that’s just the 1st few minutes!

The movie then moves on to our main characters, a seemingly perfectly happy family who are spending a day at the beach. The mum and dad sit high on a sand dune watching there boy and girl play happily below, all of a sudden the mum notices something not quite right with her daughter. She descends the dune to find her daughter sitting quietly and her brother staring very oddly at her. Her mum looks down and see’s blood between her legs, she has had her first period. So day over at the beach and the stop at a local petrol station where her mum takes her into the bathroom and changes her, Leaving her underwear on the side she notices the window is open and looking through it is a guy named Lucio the local town weirdo!   The quickly go back outside and decide to let the children go for a walk. This results in mum and dad sitting in the car waiting for them and they both also end up having sexy time. They  fall asleep and wake much later than they had hoped, The children haven’t returned.

In panic mode they go looking but to no avail, the local police are called and the parents are told to seek a hotel locally for the night whilst the police conduct a search. They blame each other which results in a fight. The next morning still distraught they are sitting in the car when they realise that the children have been found and they are all reunited. One big happy family again? No, definitely not.  

With them all back home, the mother who seems a lot more in touch with the children than their father notices that things are not quite right, they have changed somehow. The mother tries to reassure her daughter by saying that having a period is perfectly natural and to put her mind at rest she will take her to the local female Doctor. She takes her and the Dr tells her all is fine and not to worry. But all is not well; The Doctor asks the mother to come back in and tells her that there have been signs down below of what could have possibly been sexual abuse. She is obviously horrified and determined to find out what has gone off. Was it when they were walking in the hills? If so why didn't she say and who was it?

The film then takes many a dark turn. The kid’s get stranger. The Brother and sister are seemingly inseparable even the school notices that they are acting strangely together. I Shan't say any-more as I don’t want to spoilt it but I do have to say that the acting is top notch. There is a murder scene later in the film which it has to be said is one of the most gruesome deaths I have seen in a movie for a long while. But on that gruesome death point alone don’t let that be the only reason you see this. Like I said at the begging of the review, after I had finished it I still was unsure whether I liked it or not and I'm still divided. On one side it was a bit of a jumbled movie with seemingly great ideas that didn't quite pay off for me but then on the other side there were some truly great and shocking moments. Often at times an uncomfortable watch  but it has just the right amount of pulling power to make you to want to stay to the end to see what is going on.
With a lot of releases being very poor this one in my opinion stands slightly head and shoulders above those films and Director Adrian Garcia Bogliano is one to watch, well worth a look ,I think!

7/10 JONNY T.


Saturday, 11 January 2014

You're Next - Reviewed

So with The Purge and now You’re Next the “Home Invasion” genre seems to be a popular at the moment and I do have to say out if the 2 films You’re next is definitely the best one!
The film opens up with a lady and a man who have just finished up some sexy time. She then goes to take a show and his butchered by an unknown intruder the man goes to investigate and written on the wall in blood is “YOU’RE NEXT” and indeed he is, great gory opening to the film that sets it up nicely for a big body count to come.
So we then switch to their dead folk’s neighbours, quite a way up the road in this pretty much isolated community. The Family are there for a get together and you see them arrive one by one, the usual bunch, the nice guy, the spoilt brat and his girlfriend, the mum and dad, you get the picture .So with them all there the family sit down  for a meal when one of them (None other than Ti West!) hears something outside and decides to take a peek through the window when “boom!” crossbow bolt straight to the forehead! The family take cover as more bolts rain through the window and try to exit the room A.S.A.P. Wondering what the hell has happened it transpires that one of the son’s girlfriends was brought up on a survivalist camp! So you now have the set up. Unknown strangers outside, A trapped family inside, one dead and a survivalist girl who proceeds to set many a deadly trap.
But just who are the people and how many are there and what are their motivations? And who is behind those creepy as hell masks???Well I won’t spoil any of that as it has some real clever twists and turns. The body count mounts up and the deaths get more violent and inventive. I personally really enjoyed You’re next on the level of turn your brain off, sit back and enjoy the ride! Well shot, gory, funny in places and twists galore you can do a lot worse than this and for me it’s definitely in the top 3 of 2013 horrors.

Jonny T.

You're Next is out on Monday January 13th - Youre-Next-Blu-ray-AMAZON


Wednesday, 8 January 2014

The Bounty - Reviewed

                Hello Folks,
Jonny T here with my review of the newly released The Bounty. From the writer of Shaolin Soccer Fuing Chih Chiang comes yet another 99mins of fun packed insane Asian madness! The film opens where we see our bounty hunter off a lady called "Tall Girl" her dog back in exchange for money, he hands it her back and she refuses to give him the cash and he is immediately confronted by an extremely muscled china-man, the appears an old guy shouting "Dog thief!"at which-point he decides to just do a runner as the whole street turns-around and looks ready to kill him, as he runs off Tall Girl the turns up on a motorised grain wagon starts spraying him with water and he ends up being dragged by it and flipping 4 wheels out of his suitcase and turning it into a trolley!Yes you can see that Fuing Chih Chiang has certainly lost non of his insanity when it comes to film making! .
The Bounty hunter then gets a call to earn some big money which involves a small hotel called LAZY Inn, to hunt down a fugitive robber Lee Kin Fai. He duly accepts the big job and upon arrival at the Lazy in he is greeted by what has to be said a weird set of characters to say the very least! This then leads to him trying to hide his identity and eventually teaming up with the cleaner who makes most of her money from a side job she has writing horror-scopes for a local newspaper.
The film trots along at a great pace with as you would expect from Fuing Chih Chiang utter lunacy all the way through.Packed with some great action and hilarious scenes this for me was a great laugh.The running time of 99 minutes is just about right and i personally cannot wait to see what his next movie will be.Some great cinematography and top notch acting make this an Asian film well worth owning in my opinion.The Bounty is out now on DVD.
Jonny T.

Friday, 3 January 2014


Hello Folks,
Jonny T here with news of a Insidious 2 Tweet'n'Scream Along.

For one night only - Insidious Chapter 2 Tweet 'n' Scream along. Exactly what it says on the tin, Insidious Chapter 2 will be screening at Ritzy Picturehouse, Brixton, London on Friday 10th January 2014 at 23.00pm. You can pre-order your tickets now from the following link:

If you're not around London on the day, fear not, there will be a nationwide tweet-a-long going on at the same time, but can be done from the comfort of your own home. Just make sure you have your copy of Insidious Chapter 2 to hand! 
Also be sure to enter the contest here to win Insidious 2 goodies!
click the link below!