Yakuza Apocalypse - Reviewed

Director: Takashi Miike

Writer: Yoshitaka Yamaguchi (screenplay)

Stars: Yayan Ruhian, Rirî Furankî, Hayato Ichihara 

In the ruthless underground world of the yakuza, no one is more legendary than boss Kamiura. Rumored to be invincible, the truth is he is a vampire-a bloodsucking yakuza vampire boss! Among Kamiura's gang is Kageyama, his most loyal underling. However, the others in the gang view Kageyama with disdain and ridicule him for his inability to get tattooed due to sensitive skin. One day, assassins aware of boss Kamiura's secret arrive from abroad and deliver him an ultimatum: Return to the international syndicate he left years ago, or die. Kamiura refuses and, during a fierce battle with anime-otaku martial-arts expert Kyoken, is torn limb from limb. With his dying breath, Kamiura bites Kageyama, passing on his vampire powers to the unsuspecting yakuza. As he begins to awaken to his newfound abilities, Kageyama's desire to avenge the murder of boss Kamiura sets him on a course for a violent confrontation with Kaeru-kun, the foreign syndicate's mysterious and seemingly unstoppable leader!

Takashi Miike is known for his prolific output. Some brilliant, some odd and some just bat shit crazy and Yakuza Apocalypse is definitely the latter. After a slown burn 1st 25 minutes it goes truly off its nut!
As you would expect from Miike the cinematography is brilliant. The gore level never let's up and the characters are insane. A stinky yokai monster. A kung-fu frog. An underground slave factory full of men who are constantly knitting whilst having there feet crushed. An Edwardian priest who carries a small coffin on his back and oh did I mention  vampires?
Yes it is as insane as the above would have you think. There were many a time watching it i wondered what the fuck was going on but in saying that it kept me watching and laughing many times through it.
The only thing I would say is the ending is a little frustrating as I would have loved to see more.
All in all well worth a watch but not his best and not his worst. A blast indeed well at least I think it was!
7/10

Killers Moon - Retro Review

So on to another Sunday morning in bed with a cuppa. Whilst kettle is boiling and biscuits are found i once again entered the spare room. This time I fancied something off my classic British collection and there it was asking the question "Do you dream in colour Mr Trubshaw?" The mucky classic that is Killers Moon.

I would describe Killers Moon as akin to many a Peter Walker/Tony Tenser production from around that time but slightly dirtier, One of those films that makes you want to shower after seeing it and that's exactly what I did. Maybe not the best choice for a Sunday morning but in saying that a definite classic.

The basic premise is that a school bus full of young school girls breaks down in the remote countryside so they have to walk to find shelter. They eventually do find a guest-house that is closed for the season but the kind old lady (Citizen Smiths mum!)  decides to let them all stay anyway. All sorted, Except that four sexual predators have escaped from the local loony bin and are heading in their direction. Along with this we have a couple of men camping who regularly bring ladies back to the tent.

Things start to get bizarre when a three legged Doberman enters the tent obviously just having its leg cut off by something or someone in the woods.

Things start getting really grim when the lunatics find the guest house. It appears that all believe that they are in a dream brought on by the drugs they are all on, The fact is they are all nuts! Their appearance and some actions make it extremely similar in tone to A Clockwork Orange.

It really is hard to watch in places but also compelling to watch in others. The maniacs all have their own trait and everyone of them are equally unlike-able and terrifying.

The low score on IMDB doesn't do it justice, The end is equally as grim as the rest of the film and it really gives you a feeling like when The Texas Chainsaw Massacre finishes, Just grim but brilliant in equal meseaures, Go seek it out,

8/10 

Jonny T.

Have a look at the trailer, You'll get the idea!