Tuesday, 15 November 2011

The Human Centipede 2?Stick it up your ass!!

Hello people,
Well after a pretty poor year on the whole (no pun intended) i was really looking forward to The Human Centipede 2 and what can i say, it's terrible!
Now i know i'm probably guna take some shit for this (please note it will be full of HC2 cliches!!) but i really did think it was a real let down, Ok so it's filmed in black and white to add effect and i've heard it said that it is more of an arthouse film because of it, i personally would call it an arse house film, The story as you may know revolves around Martin the sad loner car park attendant that lives at home with Mother in their run down flat and his dad is in prison for abusing him which is mum constantly blames him for,There lies the first problem for me,yet another story of abuse leading to the creation of a psycho,How about someone who just flips?He has more than an unheatly obsession with the original film which involves owning a scrapbook on it as well as a pet and rather aggresive Centipede, oh and and wanks himself off with sandpaper whilst watching the movie at every given oputunity he can,he works shifts that seem mainly nights in the lower level of a parkin lot and randomly pick out his victims as to re-create the original film but this time a full sequence involving 12 people, so picks off the people at random and takes them along to a rented warehouse until he has the full amount to start his version of The Human Centipede.

As i mentioned he lives in a grotty flat with his constantly nagging mother and a neighbour that blasts his music so all can here, as i said the acting is terrible and when we first see the neighbour who threaten to smash his fackin' face in the level of Cockney acting makes Dick Van Dyke and Danny " oi you caant" Dyer seem like masters of the cinema, cringe inducing!
So he gets all his 12 and a couple die etc but the lead girl can't shit, so he blasts her full of laxative and the rest until the shit flows with the explosion of shit which is the only scene in colour, maybe this was a metefor as the film itself is a big explosion of shit, Martin doesn't have any dialogue just stares blankly with his big bold bug eyes, he's probably thinking what the fuck am i doing in this??? Then that kind of reverts back to the fact of the bad acting, i mean i know some actors will do anything for a job but the level of these actors is shocking and all they are good for is sticking there heads up other peoples arses, at least that meant that they were sucking shit rather than talking it.
Now rant over i can see why people will be having a laugh watching this and i salute Tom Six for basically showing everything that people said you didn't see in the first film but as i say if you see it just don't expect to much and you may get something out of it but i personally didn't, akin to a serbian film the scene with the pregnant lady and the baby and the car ( you will know what this is when you see it) was done in an awful effect that was similar tihe worse FX in a bad Troma movie.
I can see all the points that I think that Tom Six is trying to make,such as he does show you everything,He has pushed the limit in utter shock value,it's said that it's a finger to censorship and the argument that says horror movies or movies in general effect people and make them do bad things so on them points I really can't fault him,But like I said it just didn't do it for me personally.
If you want a great take on The Human Centipede 2, make sure to head over to http://www.cadaverlab.com/ and listen to Mike And Sam's hillarious take on HC2 in the latest Podcast.
Jonny T.


  1. Thanks for watching so I don't have to.

  2. Ditto! It's one of those films that looks shit (literally) but people will want to see it so they can see how awful it is. Well I'm not watching it anyway!