Friday, 17 August 2012

Pentathlon-Blu-Ray Review

After winning Olympic Gold in Seoul, East German pentathlete Eric Brogar (Lundgren) takes the opportunity to escape his past and the demands of his tyrannical coach, Heinrich Mueller (Soul), and flees to the freedom of the West with the help of a beautiful American athlete.
Several years later, Mueller has given up coaching and turned his dubious talents to neo-Nazi terrorism and a series of attacks on German government officials. Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, Brogar has slipped into an alcoholic depression and ekes out a meagre living working at a local diner. Still angered by Brogar’s betrayal and driven by a need for revenge, the psychotic Mueller first targets Brogar’s father before flying to LA to finish off his former star athlete once and for all. In an attempt to get his life back on track, Brogar has begun training once more, this time at the woodland retreat of his former girlfriend. But the arrival of Mueller, who has since teamed up with Brogar’s arch rival Jurgen Reinhardt and a group of neo-Nazi sympathizers in the US, means Brogar will soon have to turn his skills to something more than winning medals.

Good day good people,
Jonny T here with my thoughts on the 80's cheese fest that is Pentathlon, "Hards sports to test a mans skills""History is Made of chaos and murder" are just a couple of tag lines that made me laugh out loud!The story starts of in East Germany 1972 where we see a race between several blond haired blue eyed boys whilst under the very watchful eye of there Nazi like trainer David Soul who by the way has such a brilliantly funny German accent you cannot help but laugh! The young boy that is Dolph loses the race and is immediately slapped by David Soul who then tells him "YOU HAVE FAILED!!" nice!
We then shoot forward to the opening ceremony of the 1988 Souel Olympics with a great voice over describing the Pentathlon events, we then get to see Dolph's 1st event Swimming, he wins, then Fencing, he wins, then shooting, he wins then the final event of the day equestrian and guess what....he wins! All these events are watched under the beady eye of David Soul who afterwards at dinner he admits to Dolph that he is "Proud of Him" but then again Dolph has grown to 7ft tall and built like a brick shithouse so i think if he would have tried to slap him good old Dolph would have gone all Ivan Drago on his ass!
Dolph the casually walks to say hello to Team U.S.A and wants to swap tops with a team member so he can have a U.S.A top, A nice gesture you would think but this totally outrages David Soul who storms across to bring Dolph back and says to a Black athlete" Speak when you are spoken to, i am a white man!" Yep, shocking!
We then move to the next day where Dolph has his final event, running, this is the one that  has always bothered him as the memory of the Soul slap has troubled him over many years, but guess what, he wins!
So with now being a gold winner this is where it really does start to kick off, Dolph wants out of East Germany and the oppression and comes up with a plan with a fellow athlete to wear a Team USA top and sneak past the guards whilst doing an American accent, we see him practise reading on a piece of paper with lines like "Hey Dude, are you pork chop?" wtf??? But it works! Things transpire and Dolph manages to escape his camp but that brings the full wrath of slapper Soul who completely loses the plot and this is a sight to behold when he starts shouting in his amazing German accent.
So with Dolph on the run and loads of fights and car chases and explosions and cheese you know what you are getting, by no means a classic but certainly worth picking up, although probably totally unintentional this film is as funny as it gets,
Get some Nostalgia in your player!
7/10 Jonny T.

No comments:

Post a Comment