Drive Angry (2010)
Okay, I admit that I’m a little slow on the uptake for reviewing a movie that came out in cinemas in the earlier part of last year but considering that the film revolves around tits, ass and muscle cars you might agree that its hardly appropriate viewing for two young children and a wife whose primary interests are wine and Gardeners world. Well, with said wife and kids out of the house for the day the surround sound is cranked up to eleven and I’m set for two hours of shameful debauchery. Let’s see if Drive Angry really is ‘’RIOTOUS, RIP-ROARING THRILLS AND ACTION’’.
Nicolas Cage plays John Milton, a former criminal out to rescue his baby granddaughter from a cult of Satanists. With beautiful waitress Amber Heard and her ‘borrowed’ Dodge Challenger along for the ride Milton has two days to stop the evil Jonah King from sacrificing the child and opening the gates of Hell. To make things all the more difficult Milton is being tailed by ‘the Accountant’ a stranger with supernatural powers and the local law enforcement.
Sounds a bit shit right? Well to be honest if you were expecting a good film that stars Nicolas ‘show me the money’ Cage and is directed by the same man who made that awful Dracula 2001 & My Bloody Valentine and has box quotes like ‘’NICOLAS CAGE BACK TO HIS BADASS BEST’’ & ‘’MAD, BAD AND UTTERLY HILARIOUS’’ then you are asking for trouble. To its credit though Drive Angry isn’t supposed to be a good movie. It’s an exploitation flick or at least a mediocre attempt at one. Where Drive Angry really disappoints is where it fails to deliver on its basic promise. In short, there isn’t much driving and it isn’t that angry! My hopes of another Death Proof or Dirty Mary & Crazy Larry were short-lived; instead we have a tragic CGI injected over blown wreck. The 3D aspect makes things even worse with jaw bones and bullets etc heading towards the screen at any opportunity. I watched in 2D and even then the end result was unnecessary and a poorly implemented gimmick.
On the plus side there is some well choreographed fight work. You won’t find many films where a guy single handily takes out a motel room full of psychos in glorious slow-mo whilst a blonde bar maid is ‘attached’ to his groin. Also worthy of note is some pretty impressive gore. Heads are skewered to walls with base ball bats or split in half with Machete blades, eyes are shot out of their sockets, etc. I just can’t help but think if a little less money had been spent on Nic Cage and instead invested in the stunts we could have had a much better film. As it stands the end result is passable fluff.
A PICTURE OF THE REAL NICHOLAS CAGE.